We can all find ourselves upset at times.
Do you have a way that you alleviate your upset?
Do you eat, cry, get angry, take a nap, meditate, go for a walk or take a run?
Do you have a favorite way to release yourself from the grip of being upset?
Here is a guaranteed effective and efficient way to bring peace to yourself when you are upset.
It works like magic.
You can share this with your friends and family as a way that they too can release themselves from being upset. (However, I recommend that you don’t try to provide them with this technique when they are upset.) Share this with them when they are in a good mood.
Step 1: Ask Yourself, “What am I Feeling?
All feelings are in your body.
Are you angry, hurt, sad, lonely, frustrated, or afraid, to name just a few emotions you could be feeling.
Can you dig down when you feel upset and see what the real emotion is under your upset? Many of us don’t have an understanding or language for the sensations, feelings, and emotions we experience.
You can look at it this way…
Sensations in your body are like words, the feelings you attribute to these sensations are like sentences, and what you call your emotion is the story.
You may say you are angry (emotion) when in fact you are afraid (what you are feeling) from the tension (body sensation) in your stomach or jaw. There is no universal right code for defining your body sensations into what you are feeling and what the emotion is.
One person may experience the tightness in their jaw as anger, another may feel this sensation as frustration or fear.
You will need to be the one to decipher your own personal body sensations into what you are feeling and ultimately what the emotion is that you are experiencing when you are upset.
What you label as an emotion, first starts as body sensations that you recognize as feelings, then you call it an emotion.
Want to Free Yourself From an Upsetting Emotion?
Here is a way to do that…
Start with your body sensation(s). Where in your body are they located and what are the sensations? (Cold hands, heat in your chest, tension in your jaw or neck, tightness in your stomach, a tight band around your forehead, your eyes ache, etc.)
These sensations are the words. Now build the sentence. What do these sensations mean?
How do these body sensations have you feel? What are you feeling?
Now for the story. What do you say this feeling represents in emotion? Example: My stomach has the sensation of being tied up in knots, this has me feel tense and anxious = I am angry.
Is it true that the tension or knots that you are experiencing in your stomach means that you are angry? Maybe it means that you are afraid. Could it be that you are hurt?
See if you can observe your body sensations, feelings, and emotions without coming to the same conclusion, or story, about what the emotion is that you are experiencing.
Once you label your experience as an emotion (I am frustrated; I am angry) you can get stuck with thinking that you know what is going on. You are no longer present to experience the sensations and your feelings – hence they don’t go away.
When you allow yourself to be present to the sensations and feelings you can let them go.
Step 2: Observe Without Judgement
When you are upset, don’t only notice where in your body you are feeling sensations but also where the feeling(s) is the strongest.
Where in your body is your attention most drawn to?
Maybe you feel tension in your jaw, tightness in your neck, constriction in your throat, perhaps you have stopped breathing, your chest feels heavy, you have an upset stomach or have a headache (these are the most common). When you look, the area that has most of your attention is the constriction in your throat. Go there first.
You could feel sensations anywhere and everywhere in your body.
Where do you feel the strongest sensations? Go there!
Instead of distracting yourself from your body sensations, or trying to mentally solve the problem, just be present to the physical sensations in your body.
How do these sensations make you feel?
Notice what you say they mean. What emotion is it that you are saying you are feeling?
Step 3: Let Go of Any Resistance
You are experiencing certain body sensations, they have you feel a certain way, you are having an emotional response.
It’s a fact.
Let go of any resistance. (Resistance = persistence)
It won’t be there forever (though it might feel that way in the moment). For now, as long as it’s there anyway, accept it.
What are the body sensations?
Where in the body are you feeling them? How intense is the feeling associated with them? Is there anything familiar about this feeling?
When did you first experience it?
What triggered it?
What emotion have you assigned to these body sensations and feelings? Etc.
When your upset is not a swirl, you can start to untangle the experience and release the charge.
Step 4: Focus on the Center of the Feeling
Again, where in your body are the strongest sensations?
Go there. Describe the sensations to yourself. (“My scalp is hot.” “I am not fully breathing.” “I am clenching my jaw.” etc.)
How are these sensations attached to what you are feeling?
What are you feeling?
Inside this feeling in your body, there’s an area of greatest intensity.
Put your attention there. Let go of these body sensations and send that area in your body light and love.
Step 5: Breath into that Area of Your Body
As you put attention, light, and love on where in your body you are feeling the sensations, your feelings may start to shift in some way.
Your body sensations and feelings might get more intense, or less intense.
They might move to different parts of your body. Stay with them.
They will eventually dissipate.
These sensations, feelings, and emotions may disappear fast, or it could take a number of attempts with this process to alleviate your upset.
Stay with it and you will feel better.
Step 6: Stay With it Till You Feel Peaceful
Stay with observing the body sensations and going into the feeling. Let go of any emotional label you have assigned.
Let the sensations live and breathe.
Let them move around, and let your feeling(s) evolve if it wants to.
Keep your attention on the most intense part in an unconditionally loving way – breath into it.
After the feeling(s) has run its course, (about 5 to 10 min) you’ll be left with a neutral feeling. This neutral feeling is peaceful.
You will eventually feel peaceful.
You might also be filled with joy or love. That’s fun when that happens, but usually it’s just sort of a neutral feeling of peace.
To make sure that you’ve cleared up your upset completely, think about the upset, the situation, and the problem that was bugging you. Notice if you feel anything other than peace, love, or joy. If there’s anything that isn’t peaceful yet, repeat this process over again.
Sometimes there are several layers that need to be processed out.
In Most Cases You’re Now FREE of the Upset.
This is the place where you want to have conversations with your partner, your family and the people in your life from.
This is the place where you want to make your decisions from.
This is the place where you want to take your actions from.
This is the place where you can achieve your highest potential. This is how you have peace around a situation that may have totally owned you in the past.
Use this technique to eliminate any upset and reclaim your greatest self. This technique is a very powerful and a valuable way to transform your entire life.